EP 2.1 Martini

MOTHER COCKTAILS 2.1

MARTINI

**00-Jellywish McMonacle III —- *Pinky’s out!—**

We’re going to start off strong with arguably the simplest, highest maintenance cocktail of all time. It’s character has been muddled, torn apart, and thanks to James Bond, given a gross and inaccurate public identity. James Bond may be great at secret agent type stuff, but let it be known, he makes terrible drinks. Books have been written about the Martini. It is a starkly simple drink. Yet, it has so many tiny nuances, scenarios, and pick your own adventure shizz piled onto it that the preparation of the Martini has become bartender calculus.

One of the main misconceptions about martinis is that there should be no vermouth, or perhaps a ritual “rinse” of vermouth. Good martinis need vermouth. Vermouth is delicious

Vermouth is an aromatized, fortified wine. Wine does not keep its flavor for very long after opening. When a bottle of wine is opened, it is exposed to oxygen. Oxygen breaks down the flavors in wine. Usually 2-5 days after a bottle of wine is opened it will “turn.” A turned wine will have a distinct vinegar flavor and taste more like salad dressing than wine. When neutral spirits are added to wine to raise the proof, it will help preserve the wine so that instead of a few days, the wine will stay good for around a month after opening. In Addition, aromatic elements like spices, herbs, and barks, are added just because it tastes nice.

The point is, Vermouth goes bad. It should be kept in the fridge after opening! It needs to be dated and tasted regularly. Usually it will keep for about a month. During the 70’s all the way up until the early 2000’s (and even in present day in some places) bars made a practice of serving rancid gross vermouth. It became commonplace in many bars across America to leave an open bottle vermouth out on the back bar for YEARS! This was such the norm that it lead generations of people to believe that ALL vermouth was gross. It is similar to having tasted sour milk and then unquestionly believing that all milk tastes that way. There is a cultural fear of vermouth among drinkers, especially martini drinkers, who learned that an unseasoned bucket o’ vodka was preferable to having to choke down even a drop of the ancient, rancid vermouth on the back bar.

Today it is more commonplace of bars to understand that, unlike spirits that last indefinitely, vermouth is perishable and needs to be treated differently. Thus, a growing chunk of modern drinkers are learning that vermouth is in fact TASTEY as all get out, and it is ESSENTIAL to a good martini.

Here is the most basic Recipe:

Martini

2oz Gin or Vodka

1oz Dry vermouth

1 Dash Orange Bitters* only if lemon twist garnish

Stir, serve up, express a lemon twist over the top for garnish OR an olive depending on guest preference.

Note: Gin and Vodka are usually stripped of more congeners than other spirits during distillation. This means that more water will be needed to achieve the proper dilution. Remember to taste your way through the cocktail paying attention to the “arc of dilution” flavor points. Don’t be afraid of stirring that martini for awhhillle.

Martini Mechanical Parts:

2oz Strong

1oz Dry Fortified Wine

1 dash appropriate bitter, depending on garnish

The Martini has the most modifications/lingo in preparation:

50/50 – Equal parts strong and dry, i.e 1.5oz gin or vodka & 1.5oz dry vermouth

Perfect- .5oz dry vermouth & .5 sweet vermouth

Dry – reduce vermouth to .5oz

Extra dry- reduce vermouth to .25oz

Bone Dry – no vermouth, just 2oz booze

Dirty- .5oz olive brine & .5oz dry vermouth

Extra Dirty- 1oz olive brine & .5oz dry vermouth